为什么父母这么担心孩子的事,孩子长大后父母为啥还要关心孩子

萨古鲁 Isha

Child: Actually, many parents in India, they have tension about their child about fees, one lakh, two lakh, how should I pay this, then I will become a beggar, what shall I do?

孩子：实际上，印度的很多父母都很紧张小孩相关的开支，十万卢比、二十万卢比，我怎么负担得起，我要变成乞丐了，我该怎么办？

Sadhguru: Hey, if you were a beggar, there would be no problem with one lakh, two lakh.

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：嘿，如果你是一个乞丐，那就没有十万、二十万这种困扰了。

Child: Then they have a peaceful life, then the parents says the child, "I have a very beautiful life, enjoyment," then after that we think that how do they live happily because they have these many tensions about the child. That what do they do, how will they fall, why will they kick someone and all that. Then how do they still have a peaceful life, the parents?

孩子：然后，他们有了安定的生活，父母对小孩说，“我的生活很美好，充满快乐。”这不禁让我们思考，他们怎么能幸福地生活，因为他们还是紧张孩子的各种事情，他们（指孩子）做什么？怎么跌倒了？怎么踢了别人，各种情况。那他们又如何能过平静的生活呢，我是说那些父母们？

Sadhguru: Yes, yes, go on.

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：是的，是的，你继续说。

Child: How do they still have an enjoyment in their life, by having a tension still for the kid?

孩子：他们是如何能背负着对孩子的担心还依旧享受生活的呢？

Sadhguru: Some parents manage to forget about their children for some time. That gives them the respite. You are something! What's your name?

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：有些父母可以在一段时间内忘掉小孩，这会给他们一点喘息的机会。你好特别！你叫什么名字？

Child: Sanjana.

孩子：Sanjana。

Sadhguru: Sanjana? Sanjana, I want you to observe, not just your parents, just observe people around you. Just watch them carefully, because this is all I did in my life when I was your age, simply observing everything, not saying a word about it. If you observe people, you will see today we are creating a world, toddler means they have, you know, the napkin problems. Adolescent means they have puberty problems. Middle age means it's a crisis. Old age, terrible! Tell me one stage of life that people are enjoying.

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：Sanjana？Sanjana，我请你去观察，不仅是观察你的父母，要观察你周围的人，仔细观察大家。因为当我在你这个年纪时，我所做的事只有观察，单纯地观察所有的事物，但又什么都不说。如果你观察大家，你就会发现，如今在我们创造的这个世界里，婴儿意味着尿不湿的问题；青少年意味着青春的烦恼；中年意味着危机；老年，太糟糕了！能告诉我有哪一个人生阶段是人们能去享受的？

Those who are poor, suffering because they are poor. Those who are rich, they are Suffering the taxes. Those who are not educated, they are suffering because they are not educated. Put them to school - enormous suffering. That's what they are saying, "Tension in the B-School." And, those who are not married, they are suffering. Get them married... See, I did not say anything. They are saying it. No children, they are suffering. Give them children, constant suffering which you're saying.

那些穷人因为贫穷受苦；那些富人因为税收受苦；那些没受教育的人们因为没受教育而受苦。若让他们去上学——太痛苦了，就像大家说的"商学院焦虑"。那些未婚人士，他们很痛苦；他们结婚后......看，我还什么都没说呢，大家都说了。没有小孩，他们很痛苦；有了小孩，你都说了，没完没了的痛苦。

Tell me one damn thing that people are not suffering. Everything! So somebody comes out with the philosophy, "Life is suffering!" So somebody comes up with a solution, "It's all right to suffer. If you suffer a lot here, you will go to another place where everything is fantastic." You've heard of heaven? Not been there, right? No, no, heaven! Heaven is the most fantastic place. The reason why we suffer is, there everything is fantastic.

告诉我有哪一件事情，人们不为之受苦？每件事情（都受苦）。于是有人发明了个哲学理念：“生命就是受苦。”然后又有人想到了解决方案，受苦没有关系，如果你在这里备受煎熬，你将会去到另一个地方，那里一切都很美妙。你听说过天堂么？还没去过吧？嗯，没有（去过），天堂！天堂是最美好的地方，我们在此受苦的原因就是在（天堂）那边一切都无比美好。

But I'm asking, do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and messing it up? Hello? Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and messing it up? Just go out and see, I think it feels like heaven, the B-School. Maybe you're making a mess out of it. Look at this planet from outside the solar system look at this planet, all the other planets and planet earth, does it look like heaven?

那我就问，你是否有任何证据表明你不是已经在天堂了，但（自己）把它搞得乱七八糟？喂？你是否有任何证据表明你不是已经在天堂了，但（自己）把它搞得乱七八糟？出去看看，我觉得这里就像天堂，这个商学院，也许是你把它破坏了。看看这个星球，从太阳系之外看看，看看这个星球，其它所有星球对比地球，地球看上去像天堂么？

Participants: Yes.

观众：像。

Sadhguru: So, you already landed on heaven and making an absolute mess about it and you want to go to another heaven now because you made a mess out of this. So people are not stressed because they have children. They don't have children, they are continuously miserable. Children came, little bit spurts of joy, rest is only crying about it. So this is not because of children, this is not because of marriage, this is not because of B-School, this is not because of employment. This is simply because human beings have not figured how to handle themselves. That's all! Wherever you put them - something. You give them what you want, make them the king, they are miserable there also. Yes? Yes or no? People have become risen into very high position, still miserable or no?

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：所以你已经到了天堂，却把它彻底搞砸了。现在你又想去另一个天堂，因为你把这里搞乱了。所以人们很焦虑，不是因为他们有小孩，就算他们没有小孩，他们也会一直痛苦。孩子出世，带来了瞬间的喜悦，然后只剩抱怨。所以不是因为孩子，不是因为婚姻，不是因为商学院，不是因为就业，只是因为人类还没有领悟到该如何对待自己，如此而已。把他们放在任何位置上，都会出状况。使他们得偿所愿，封他们为王，他们仍会同样郁闷，是吧？是不是？已经身居高位的人也很不开心的，不是吗？

So this is not because of any situation, definitely not because of a wonderful girl like you. They haven't figured because right from the day they went to kindergarten they were focused, "Who is first, who is second, who is first, who is second." Hmm? Yesterday, I was at my school. After forty-five years I went back to my school, how does it feel, how do you think? So I went there and I was just telling them my experience of school.

所以，原因不在于任何处境，更不在于你这样的可爱小女孩。人们还没学会（对待自己）是因为从他们上幼儿园的那天起，他们就专注于“谁是第一、谁是第二。”谁第一、谁第二，对吧？昨天，我去了我的母校，时隔45年，我回到母校，我感受如何？你猜呢？我去了，跟大家讲我当时上学的经历。

When I went to school... You know these monthly marks card? When these marks card comes, when the teacher gives it to them, some look at it and they are strutting around because they are first, second, whatever. Some are sitting in one corner and crying because they are not happy with the numbers that they got. I never opened the marks card in my entire school. When they gave it to me, I took it and gave it to my father. He blew!

我上学时，你知道那种月度评分卡么？发评分卡的时候，当老师把卡给大家时，有些同学看后就得意地走来走去，因为他们得了第一、第二。有些则坐在角落哭泣，因为他们不满意自己的分数。在我上学期间，我从未打开过我的评分卡。发给我卡时，我就收下，拿回家给我父亲，他就发飙了。

I couldn't understand why just this card? I never opened it and saw because I thought this is a transaction between my teacher and him. I had no interest in it whatsoever, so I never bothered. But I always saw it... My father is a well-educated intelligent man, but it disturbed him. For three days, he blew like a volcano. Looking at this yellow card... They always gave a yellow colored card. Still like that? So, I was wondering, three days volcanic experience he is having.

我不懂为什么（父亲发飙），这只是一张卡片而已。我从没打开看过，因为我以为这是老师和父亲之间的交易，反正我完全不感兴趣，所以我都懒得理会。但我总会看到——我父亲是一个受过良好教育的聪明人，但卡片会让他不安，连续三天，看着黄色卡片，他就跟火山爆发一样。他们总是用黄色卡片，现在还是吗？于是，我就惊奇于他那三天火山喷发般的体验。

Why I am saying this is, we have set this kind of things. We can't change the entire system tomorrow morning, but we can change ourselves, how we handle this, isn't it? Why is it so important that you have to be ahead of somebody? Why? Why is it so important? Is it not important your life should be beautiful? You must be joyful, you must be wonderful, you must explore your full potential, is this important or you want to be better than somebody sitting next to you? Well, if what's sitting next to you is a piece of dung, you will be a little better dung Yes? That's not how life should end up.

我讲这个故事是想说，我们已经定了规矩，我们不可能明早就改变整个体制，但我们可以改变自己，改变我们的处事方式，不是吗？为什么超越别人如此重要？为什么？为什么这么重要？难道你生活得美好不重要么？你要愉快，你要精彩，你要充分发掘潜能，这些重要还是你要超过坐在你旁边那个人重要？好吧，如果坐在你旁边的是粪便，你会成为优秀一点的粪便，对吧？那不该是生命的结局。

So, don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering. They are like that. They've practiced. Many have become veterans in suffering because they are acclimatizing themselves to go to hell. Acclimatization process! They want to make themselves such a suffering here, even if you drop them in hell, it'll feel wonderful. You never blame yourself for somebody's misery, okay? It's all right. What to do? It's individual choice. Yes or no? Outside people, what can we do?

所以，不要因为任何人的痛苦而自责，他们就是这样，他们操练已久。很多人都成了承受痛苦的老手，他们正努力适应地狱的水土，朝地狱前行。水土适应的过程，他们想要让自己在这里受尽折磨，然后就算你扔他们进地狱，（他们）也会觉得一切都好。你永远不要因为别人的痛苦而自责，好吗？没关系，又能做什么呢？这是个人的选择，对吗？作为外人，我们能做什么呢？

What can I do to you? I can create a easy situation or a difficult situation for you. Suffering is your business, isn't it? Yes or no? Suffering is your business. Either you can be a challenging child for your parents - I wish you will be - otherwise they will become like bisi bele bhath. You must be little challenging for them. So, whether they enjoy the challenge or suffer the challenge, is left to them. Am I...? It's okay?

我能对你做什么？我可以为你营造顺境或逆境，而受苦是你自己的事，不是么？是不是？受苦是你自己的事情。你可以做一个让你父母感到备受挑战的小孩，我愿你可以做到，否则他们会变得太飘飘然，你要给他们点挑战。无论他们是享受挑战，或是苦于挑战，由他们决定。我是不是……？这么说可以接受么？

Because what I see is it doesn't matter how many arrangements you make, those who suffer, anyway suffer, isn't it? Just see the western countries as an example. What everybody is dreaming of or what even people don't dare to dream here, an average American citizen has. You think they are all bursting with joy? All the arrangements have been made. You think they are bursting in joy? No, misery! Forty-two percent of population over forty-five is on, you know, psychiatric medication. So this is not joy for sure. Even mental health is not being managed because just making external arrangements is not going to fix this life. It's very, very important that you make inner arrangements that even if they send you to hell, you will go joyfully.

因为在我看来，无论你做多少安排，那些要受苦的人总是要受苦的，不是吗？我们看看西方国家这个例子，在这里（印度）每个人都梦想拥有，甚至不敢奢望的东西，普通美国人都有了。你以为他们都迸发着喜悦吗？一切都安排好了，你以为他们就很喜悦了？不，很痛苦，四十五岁以上的人当中有42%都在服用精神科药物。所以这绝不是喜悦，连精神健康都还没搞定。因为仅仅安排好外部环境解决不了这个人生问题，做好内在安排非常非常重要。即便要送你去地狱，你也会开心地上路。

You've heard of Gautama the Buddha? Heard of Buddha? When everybody was talking about going to heaven, Gautama said, "What will I go and do in heaven because you say everything is wonderful there? What will I do there? Let me go to hell. Because you say everybody is suffering there, let me go and do something because anyway I cannot suffer. I made myself like this I cannot suffer, so let me go to hell." Even now the Buddhist texts talk about Buddha being in the lower world. Well, you should have this kind of freedom, isn't it so? "Even if I go to hell, I will live well. Nobody has to send me to heaven" (Applause).

你们听说过乔达摩佛陀么？听说过佛陀吗？当大家在讨论去天堂的时候，乔达摩说：我去天堂做什么？因为你们说那里一切都很美好，我在那里能做什么呢？让我去地狱吧。因为你们说人人都在地狱里受苦，让我去那儿做点事情吧，反正我也不会受苦，我已经使自己不受苦了，所以让我去地狱吧。即使到现在，佛教经文仍说佛陀在下界。你也应该拥有这种自由，不是吗？即使我去了地狱，我也会过得很好，不需要谁带我到天堂。（掌声）